Through the years, I have met with many people who have experienced various struggles in their relationships, careers, self-esteem, as well as other areas of their lives.
Something that had taken place in the past had become their justification for their present. Their conversations centered on reasons such as, "I will never find Mr. or Mrs. Right because I have been hurt before", or, "I should have received that promotion, but the boss doesn't like me" Our discussions revealed the focus of their thinking. They had settled into the Victim Mindset.
The only thing that is keeping you from happiness, success, and the right relationship is you! The Victim Mindset that so many carry around with them is like a huge cowboy hat with blinking lights that scream out, "I'm a victim!"
Bad things do happen to good people. You can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond to each situation. Individuals who struggle with the Victim Mindset usually expect bad things to happen, because that has been the pattern in their lives, or somehow they feel that's what they deserve.
Here are some guidelines to assist you in moving from being a victim to becoming a victor:
1) Take Responsibility: You are the one who must take responsibility for your life-past, present and future. You must take responsibility for your own actions. Accept the fact that your life today is, in part, a result of your choices and ensuing actions. Taking responsibility is recognizing that today your life is what it is, but you are now ready to move on and live again. Own the fact that mistakes have been made but learn from them, make the changes necessary and get back on track. Whether things have been done to you, directly or indirectly, or you have made poor choices yourself, take ownership and get ready to win again.
2) Pity Party for One: Few things are more embarrassing than showing up at a party and discovering you are the only one present. Overcoming the Victim Mindset requires getting up and leaving! There is a reason no one else is there. More than likely, those who have hurt or disappointed you in the past are not giving you a single thought. Stop reliving the past, and start preparing for your future. Forgive those who have hurt you, and forgive yourself for allowing the past to confine you. It is time to move on.
3) Take Back Control: The final key is to take back control of your life. It is time to get out of the back seat, move to the front, take hold of the steering wheel and start driving again. The life of the victim is controlled by circumstance and experience. If you want to change your life, you must regain control.
Life is too short to be living in your past. Perhaps your memories are full of hurt, disappointment and regret. You can't change what has already occurred; however, you can shape your future. Take the positive, leave the negative, start enjoying today and planning for your tomorrow.
Get your head up, straighten your shoulders, look forward and start to smile again. Your future is bright, and there is much more for you to experience!